Harry Potter titles I'd like to see
by ex-LongLongHair
Summary: Like the title says. Stuff that mostly comes out of my head. Please R/R, I guarantee you'll get a laugh. Even if it is from my absolute lack of talent at writing.
1. Harry Potter titles I'd like to see

A/N: Time for another list…where does this go? Tell me, and I'll move it. Otherwise it'll probably get taken off. But anyways, you might just get a laugh or two outta this.

HP Titles Id like to see but probably never will

(unless I write them myself)

Harry Potter and the Man with the Titanium Hip

Harry Potter meets a foe with an amazing power-he has a titanium hip! The man with the titanium hip can kick with the best of them, and can run as fast as a hyena. He has one weakness, however. That is, if he falls, he'll break a bone. Osteoporosis is a lethal weapon, at times.

Harry Potter and the Castle of Stone

This castle is like no castle that has been built before-it's made of solid stone! Yes, This castle has been carved out of adamantine, and will withstand everything-except two Magids. See what Harry and Draco do to destruct this epitome of evil!

Harry Potter and the Nerf Herder of Never Never Land

Harry Potter has a strange encounter with a dominatrix, who has a rampant shadow. The dominatrix is powerful, especially with her shadow backing her up in every way. Will Harry conquer her, or will she fly away with Harry and the rest of the nerfs in tow?

Harry Potter and the Jacket of Wisdom

One day, while cleaning out the Weasleys' attic, he finds a mysterious jacket. When anyone puts it on, they instantly become a Descartes/Ptolemy/Einstein and a million other successful thinkers of the world. But while they gain brainpower, they become increasingly evil. Do Harry, Ron, Hermione and the rest of the Weasleys manage to destroy the jacket and keep the world safe, or will the jacket prevail and evil reign supreme?

Harry Potter and the Computer Manual

Harry has a huge problem-there's a computer manual in his wardrobe. The computer manual insists that Explorer is the default internet browser, even though Dudley's computer is a Macintosh. The computer manual also claims that Microsoft will rule the earth, and that Bill Gates III is the queen. When Harry finally confronts the horror in his wardrobe, will it brainwash him too?

Harry Potter and the Cushion of Forgetfulness

Harry always made a point to sit on a particular cushion in Divination. Now, his cushion is gone, and a different one in its place. Does the fact that it's silver and green, has a skull on it and various stains that look like blood have anything to do with the strange blackouts Harry has whenever he sits on it?

Harry Potter and the Pokémon League

Harry Potter wakes up to find himself in a different universe. That is, there are strange looking creatures scampering all over Hogwarts and the grounds, and everyone seems to have a few as their pets. Then there are those little red and white balls that most people have hanging off their belts. What's more disturbing, anyone who had an owl in Harry's real world seems to have a little owl that ticks and has only one leg. Are the owls bombs, or is it all just a drug-induced dream?

Harry Potter and the Suitcase of Doom

The Dursleys give Harry a new suitcase. It's black, it has a hard case, and those little plastic wheels which always come off. Whenever Harry's near it, he has a bad feeling…not only about the suitcase, but the fact that there was a plane ticket to Majorca in it…Will Harry go to Majorca, or will he go back to Hogwarts for the new school year?

Harry Potter and the Back to School Sales 

When Harry goes to Diagon Alley, he discovers that the whole of Hogwarts is there as well. There's no room to even think, and the only way to move anywhere is to crowd-surf. Does Harry get crushed in the mad rush of sabre-toothed tiger mothers, or will he make it out alive?

A/N: Okay, this may seem a little weird, but I need help. Someone didn't bother to leave any identification on their review for the first bit of Order of the Phoenix, apart from the startling fact that they knew my name. My friend vehemently denies it was her, and I can say that not many people know who I am. (Unless they got an email from me!) The other thing I know about them is that they don't know how to spell or use caps. Expel and no caps on the I's and the beginning of sentences, and they can't be bothered spelling probably properly (although I just did then). So if anybody would like to own up, they're gonna get something from me. A nice, big something. So get to it, and leave your email.


	2. More Harry Potter titles I'd like to see

A/N: Yes, it's another lot of crazy HP stories. Enjoy.

More Harry Potter titles I'd like to see, but probably never will

(Unless I write them myself)

Harry Potter and the One-Way Ticket (sequel to Harry Potter and the Suitcase of Doom)

Harry gets rid of the Suitcase of Doom-finally-after a year of fear. But the ticket is still there. It somehow escaped and is now lurking in Harry's trunk. There's something about that ticket which just isn't right…

Harry Potter and the Broken Calculator

Harry has gone back to the Dursleys for the summer. In his bedroom, Dudley's former second bedroom, are a myriad of things, mostly discarded toys. While finding a spot to conceal his latest shipment of sweets from his friends, he finds a calculator. Everything seems fine and dandy, so he takes it with him to Hogwarts to show Ron, Hermione and the rest of his friends. Then it starts printing sinister messages on the screen. And it's not even a graphic calculator. Will Harry find out what's wrong with it, or will it torture them with the ab-surd song?

Harry Potter and the Cask of Wine

When Harry found a collapsible wine cask in the Gryffindor common room, he didn't know what he was in for. Now, wakened at all hours of the night, he finds having sole control over a once-full, now mostly empty wine cask too much to handle. He hands over the wine cask to Hermione, who, he thinks, has stronger morals than he does. But strange things happen after the handover. Things like bright lights and loud noises coming from the teachers' lounge. Things like homework-free weeks. Things like hiccupping teachers. What is going on?

Harry Potter and the Star Alliance

Now in his seventh year, Harry encounters a strange symbol. Sort of like five silver triangles arranged in a circle. But that's nothing compared to the number of planes which have crashed in the school grounds. Self-combusting engines, faulty landing gear and exploding cockpits are the norm. Is this a plot to kill Harry and everyone else in Hogwarts, or is it just coincidence?

Harry Potter and the Ticking Watch

Harry knows that watches usually tick. He knows that analogue watches tick once every second. The watch he receives for Christmas from an unknown sender ticks too. But Harry also knows that this watch is behaves suspiciously. Sure, it ticks and all, but there's something different about it…it's digital.

Harry Potter and the Rampaging Toadstool

Harry's been in the Forbidden Forest before. Many times. This time, he's serving a detention. But he's never seen a toadstool like this before. It has the temperament of a rabid hippogriff crossed with a Cornish pixie and the looks of a grindylow. Will Harry call for help, or will he try to fight the toadstool off alone, and is it a toadstool in the first place?

Harry Potter and the Twelve Apostles

When suddenly transported to the southern coast of Australia, Harry decides to make the most of it. So he goes sightseeing along the Great Ocean Road. But while looking at the limestone formations near Warnambool, his scar starts to ache. As he moves closer to the South Australian/Victoria border, the pain worsens. What is it that causes him such discomfort?

Harry Potter and the Centre for Computing and Communications (the CCC)

The place formerly known as the Dungeon is at it again. This time, no ordinary person can stop them. So the fair ladies of suburban Melbourne call in Harry Potter to save the day. Will Harry conquer the CCC, or will they continue their nasty and malevolent tricks?

Harry Potter and the Multi-million Dollar Merchandising Giants

Harry Potter knew he was famous. He knew about the hordes of reporters wanting to pry into every corner of his life. But he never expected giant companies wanting him to endorse their products. Now, inundated with letters from Coca-Cola Amatil, Warner Brothers, Coles Myer, Cadbury Schweppes, McDonalds, Nestle and even Nike, Harry is rather overwhelmed. When reading the missives, though, he has a bad feeling. A very bad feeling indeed.

(A/N: Get ready for some plagiarism!)

Harry Potter: A New Hope

Harry Potter lived with his uncle, aunt and horrible cousin in a normal house in England-and he was bored, and tortured beyond belief. He yearned for some long-lost relative to take him away. But Harry got more than he bargained for when he got a letter from Hogwarts. Armed only with courage, friends and with the brother of the wand that gave him that scar, Harry was catapulted into the middle of the most savage magical war ever…

Harry Potter: Voldemort Strikes Back

A long time ago, well, okay, maybe a few years ago, in a country not all that far away, Harry, Ron and Hermione's story didn't end with the destruction of the Philosopher's Stone…

Though they though they had won a significant battle, the war between good and evil has really just begun.

Now, several years later, the good side had established a base on the frozen land of Antarctica. But even on that icy backwater continent, they could not escape the evil Voldemort's notice for long.

Soon, Harry, Ron, Hermione and their faithful companions were forced to flee, scattering in all direction-with the Dark Lord's minions in fevered pursuit…

Harry Potter: Return of the Wizard

It was a dark time for the good wizards and witches of the world…

After leaving Hogwarts, Harry renounced his wizarding ways. He lived in a world where magic did not exist. Now, in a time of turmoil, when Voldemort is back and the ordinary magic folk are downtrodden, things are bad. Ron has asked him-no, pleaded with him to come back, but Harry has always refused. Until now.

A/N: Sorry for the last three. Something came over me. I think it was a small case of Pencimortitis. But the others were okay, weren't they? Oh well. Now, I'll have to write a disclaimer for this one.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and co. belongs to JK Rowling, and the whole Star Wars thing belongs to George Lucas. I will not make any profit out of this, and I never will. Go pick on someone your own size.

A/N: There. It's probably not quite right, but…look, just go and review, okay? If you can't, email me. Please. I like getting email. Come on, you lazy buggers. (Do you know what a bugger is, by the way? I do.) Okay, I'll leave you now so you can get on with reviewing. All right? Good. Bye!


	3. And another lot...beware of the crazy ti...

A/N: Well, I think I'm at it again. Listening to Beethoven at 10:30 at night probably isn't the best setting to start writing things, but I've had worse before. So here's the third lot of Harry Potter titles I'd like to see. But probably never will unless ::waves at Luvin Lily out there somewhere:: other people write them. I have, however, considered writing some of these myself, but…well, I have other fanfic to attend to.

Hah! Another lot of Harry Potter titles I'd like to see.

Personally endorsed by no one in particular

Harry Potter and the Blow-up Basilisk

Harry Potter has encountered a basilisk before. That time he was lucky. He had Fawkes the Phoenix and the Sorting Hat to help him. Now he's on his own. Facing an inflatable basilisk. One he can't even poke the eyes out of-it just repairs the leaks, and continues to attack him. Well, at least there isn't any basilisk blood to deal with-only lots of stinking hot air.

Harry Potter and the Little Shepherd

Harry knew Hermione could play the piano. But why she should play the piano for hours on end Harry doesn't know. Perhaps it's because of her upcoming piano exam. Well, Harry and Ron have been invited to her house to stay a while over the holidays, but all Hermione ever does is practice, practice, practice! Ron and Harry hear all sorts of music coming from the room in which the piano lives-classical, pop, jazz, everything. There's one particular song that haunts him-The Little Shepherd. Whenever he closes his eyes, he hears it. Even when his eyes are open, he still hears it. When he bangs his head hard against the wall he still hears it. When he's sleeping he hears it. Will Harry be able to stop the music? Or will the little shepherd keep on annoying him?

Harry Potter and the Demented Hamster

Harry's heard of the hamster dance. He knows about it, one year even Dudley was bobbing along to it. But Harry never thought that the hamster dance would jump from the Internet to the radio and TV. Now Hampton the Hamster and his squeaky cohorts are taking over the airwaves. Can Harry stem the flow of hamster dance before Voldemort catches on to the idea of torturing people with the song, or will Hampton truly join the Dark Side?

Harry Potter and the Stuffed Dolphin

One day at the Weasleys, Harry encounters a soft toy. It was lying in the attic, wedged behind a rocking chair, and looking very dusty. Harry, seeing that it was so cute, rescued it from the musty room. Hermione takes a liking to the thing, and so, they take it to Hogwarts with them. But soon they will realise little stuffed dolphins aren't as innocuous as they seem.

Harry Potter and the Wet Blazer

One day while sitting in his dormitory, he notices a smell. An unpleasant smell, one that was slightly off, but now most definitely off. So Harry searches for the unpleasant smell, and finally locates it in the skirting board under Ron's bed. When he pulls the offending object out, he finds it is in the shape of blazer, it is rather wrinkly, and it smells bad. Harry decides to take some action and sends it off to the laundry. But little does he know, blazers are made worse when they are washed. So when he gets it back, it's even worse that before-and a little damp too. Will Harry be able to rid the blazer of its stench and send it back to where it came from, or will it hang around him forever?

Harry Potter and Hermione's REAL secret

Harry thought something was up when Hermione kept making those late night trips to library. He smelled something fishy when Hermione brought home live trout for "My ickle cat". He knew something shady was going on when Hermione used her hair smoothing stuff for something other than the Yule Ball. So what's happening with Hermione? Will Harry be clever enough to figure it out, or will Hermione have to hang off Voldie's arm, write his name with little hearts around it and swoon at the sight of him before Harry and Ron find out that she's consorting with the enemy-their biggest one yet?

Harry Potter and the Kitchen Sink

Just another summer holiday. Just another boring summer holiday with the Dursleys. But something has infiltrated 4 Privet Drive. Something evil. Harry's not sure where it is, but he knows it's there. One day, while washing up the breakfast dishes, Harry hears a gurgling noise. No, it's not Dudley. It's not the toilet. It's not the bathtub. It's the kitchen sink! Every time something goes down that sink, it gurgles. And it all started when that door-to-door salesman came by with the Insinkerator.

Harry Potter and the Gym Ribbons

We go back, back to a time before Harry knew he was a wizard…

It was the year 4's weekly gym class. Harry wasn't particularly fond of gym-the teacher didn't like him, and although he was okay at it, he felt no particular thrill in running laps of the oval, playing football or any of the other games they played. And to add to all that, his gym uniform didn't fit right-his shorts kept falling down, his t-shirt was too wide by half, and his shoes were all mangled. Then something finally sparked his interest. While the boys were supposed to be learning the rules of rugby, the girls did gymnastics. Harry liked to watch them swing on the uneven bars, do cartwheels across the beam effortlessly, and do complicated floor routines. What he would have liked to do even more was to join them…but that would incite more teasing from Dudley…and Harry didn't want to end up on the kitchen roofs again.

Harry Potter the musical: based on the books by J.K. Rowling

This tells the story of Harry Potter while he was at Hogwarts. There is one slight difference though. At every turn, Harry breaks out in a song and dance routine, complete with corny get-ups and the music, with accompanying chorus.

_~Preview~_

Ron: It's a wonderful holiday with Harry…when Harry holds your hand, your heart starts beating like a big brass band!

Harry: It's a wonderful holiday with you Ron…you're a diamond in the rough…underneath the scruffy exterior, you're true gentility. A blue blood.

Ron: Common knowledge.

***

Harry: A spoon full of sugar helps the polyjuice go down, the polyjuice go down, the polyjuice go down…

***

Ron: I may be a tiny chimney sweep but I've got an enormous broom! 1

Sirius Potter and the Last Crusade

In a completely different timeline, James and Lily didn't die. Instead, it is World War 2, and mischievous doings are afoot. James Potter Junior, never liking his name, decided he liked the dog's name better, and so, he is known as Sirius Potter. Sirius is just crazy about magical artefacts, and between the school year at Hogwarts, where he is the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, he searches for all kinds of ancient things. After receiving a mysterious note from his father, he sets off after the Holy Grail. Meeting a beautiful Austrian? lady named Fleur, he chases clues to the location of the Grail around the world. After a narrow run-in at the Karkaroff mansion, he reunites with his dad, James Potter senior, and they go on to find the resting place of the Grail. When Sirius finally gets to the Grail, he discovers someone else is there-someone named Tom M. Riddle.

Harry Potter: The Next Generation

Harry's kids are now going to Hogwarts, and they have vowed to "Boldly go where no man has gone before". Having secretly built a spaceship of immense proportions, they make first contact with alien life forms known as the Vulcans. Whenever Harry's kids get tired of school life at Hogwarts, they pack their bags and get on the space ship. Dumbledore doesn't mind-heck, he's even been on a few trips himself, as have the astronomy classes. But every time they set off somewhere new, another anomaly pops up. Does this have anything to do with the fact that the ship is named Enterprise, and who exactly is that person called "Q"?

1 The link for the words for "I may be a tiny chimney sweep but I've got an enormous broom" can be found on chapter 13 or 14 of Draco Sinister by Cassandra Claire. I'm not sure which, but it's easy enough to find. (somewhere near the bottom)

A/N: Erm, yeah. Well, the last one was definitely written under the influence of Star Trek (DS9, but I like Voyager better). The Mary Poppins induced one was thought of after watching Mary Poppins when it was on TV. I do have an inflatable snake in my room, although its eyes are purple and red, not yellow. The little shepherd one was written while listening to the Little Shepherd by Debussy. The Demented Hamster and Hermione's REAL secret was thought of by [**Milificent Snape**][1] (thanks for such interesting ideas). The wet blazer one was thought of after walking home in the rain with my lovely stinky blazer on. The dolphin one was written at the biddance of my little brother. I seem to have a part time obsession with insinkerators-hence a HP fanfic about them! (From a play I wrote for drama last year- Barbie: I guess I'll just have to go to Mr. Insinkerator, the plastic surgeon. _Five minutes later, squeals and high-pitched dentist drill type sounds come from the kitchen._ Barbie: Aah!) The gym ribbons were inspired by us doing rhythmic gym type stuff in sport today. Those ribbons are evil! 

So review, please, and tell me your thoughts on this. If anyone wants to write fanfic based on this stuff, feel free. It'll be interesting. (Just make sure you acknowledge that the idea comes from me! Aw, you don't _really_ have to..) Tell me whether you are, though, and I'll look out for it. J****

   [1]: http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=Directory-AuthorProfile&UserID=43826



	4. Yeah, more. Just as weird as the last th...

A/N: Once again, I have gone completely mad

A/N: Once again, I have gone completely mad. I'll be selling lounge suites next. Oh well. Enjoy.

Some more crazy Harry Potter titles I'd like to see

Harry Potter and the Missing Relatives

When Harry gets back from his fifth year at Hogwarts, Uncle Vernon isn't there to take him home. So he catches the Knight Bus to 4 Privet Drive. When Harry arrives, he can see that the lights are on, and the door is unlocked. But nobody's at home. Where did Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia and Cousin Dudley go?

Harry Potter and the Thing in the Fridge

Harry's been cleaning out the fridge again, but before now, the only thing frightening about it was the veggies left at the back to rot. Now there's something _living_ in the fridge (strains of "Living in the Fridge" by Weird Al Yankovic can be heard here). What's in the fridge, and what will it do to Harry?

Harry Potter and the Tin of Milo

After Harry graduates Hogwarts with much enthusiasm, he decides to go to work as an Auror. While training, he uncovers a secret smuggling cartel specialising in Milo. Yes, that really yummy chocolaty stuff that you mix with milk and drink. Harry can't work out what exactly makes the Milo so prized in the wizarding world, but whatever it is, he's going to find out.

Harry Potter and the Curtain of Darkness

Curtains have always been a part of Harry's life. Some had nice little patterns on them, others were just plain. Some had tassels, others had pelmets. Some curtains even had lining. But no curtain has ever been able to block out light like this curtain. Harry thinks something is up with the curtain, but he doesn't know what. Will he find out before it's too late?

Harry Potter and the Painkillers

Harry has a headache. A really bad headache, and no, this time, it's not from his scar. Voldemort is nowhere to be found. So Harry takes himself off to the infirmary, and asks for something to alleviate the pain. Madame Pomfrey puts it down to one of his "spells" again, and tells him to drink more water and get more sleep. Harry follows her advice, but to no avail. So he goes to Hermione, and she gives him a pack of paracetamol. Following the instructions on the pack, he takes two. But his symptoms still persist, and so, following the instructions on the pack again, he sees his local doctor, or at least tries to. But the closest thing to a doctor Hogwarts will get is Madame Pomfrey. Will Harry finally get rid of his headache?

Harry Potter and the Evil Inside

Years after dispatching the basilisk, Harry starts hearing voices again. But these voices don't say _rip…tear…shred_, they say "Use the Force, Harry" and "Try not. Do or do not. There is no try". Harry knows that this definitely isn't a good sign, and tries searching through the pipes again. He doesn't find a thing. And then, late at night, he sees visions of an old man in dark robes, as well as a little green thing with a hood, whose pointy ears stick out. Harry, thinking that he _is_ going over to the Dark Side, tells Dumbledore about his concerns. But Dumbledore only laughs, and sends Harry back to bed. Can Harry confront the evil inside, or will he forever stay a slave to these weird happenings?

Harry Potter and the Paragon of Virtue

When Harry goes to Potions one morning, he finds an addition to his 6th year classes-an American Exchange Student. Yes, one of those horrible things with the weird accent, no school uniform and the chewing gum. She is perfect in every way- her hair, her grades, her figure. Harry just can't help liking her. Soon after she arrives, though, bad things happen. Not only is it the occasional outburst of Cornish pixies, or the odd Boggart or two lurking in Neville's closet, but Harry's books start to disappear, Hermione's underwear goes missing, and Pigwidgeon starts to hum Star Wars music. Will Harry pinpoint these happenings on a single person, or are there a number of perpetrators involved?

Harry Potter and the Sausage of Immense Proportions

It appears that Dumbledore has re-introduced another old wizarding custom at Hogwarts this year. A long, long time ago, every year in autumn, the witches and wizards of Hogwarts used to make sausages with whatever edible meat they could find. Usually, there was one sausage per house, and the house with the biggest sausage won. Then, during the winter, the sausage would be eaten, bit by bit, while they waited for the spring thaw, when game could be caught again. But instead of four sausages, Harry, his friends, his enemies and all the other people in-between are putting their heads together, and making one huge sausage. Harry senses something is wrong though-with the whole sausage-making thing, and with Dumbledore. Is Dumbledore quite himself?

Harry Potter and the Facts of Life

Harry is a naïve, innocent boy, who knows what is good, what is evil, and when not to kill things. Everything is right in his world-until he notices girls, that is. Now immersed in a world of corruption, immorality and sin, he is troubled. In the midst of raging hormones, evil overlords, and school exams, Harry finds Voldemort once again threatens him, his friends, and anyone else who just happens to be in the way. Will he find his way out to defeat the malicious ringleader, or stay entrenched in the ways of the dark?

Harry Potter and the Thundering Train

When Vernon Dursley is retrenched, they have to sell their "prime position" Privet Drive house, and move to a dingy flat near the train line. Every minute of the day, trains go by. They are so loud, the furniture wobbles, and Harry feels that his head won't stop vibrating. One night, Harry looks out of his window, he sees the Hogwarts Express, and thinks nothing of it. But what _is_ the Hogwarts Express doing, rattling around in the middle of the summer holidays?

A/N: Well? Has this confirmed your already strong opinions on me? Please review. Thanks. Bye!


	5. Still more Harry Potter titles I'd like ...

A/N: Hello everyone. It's been a long time since I've written anything, so bear with me. I might still be a little rusty. J

Still more Harry Potter Titles I'd like to see

Harry Potter and the Rabid Fangirls

Harry is now in his sixth year, and finding himself to be a handsome young man, instead of a scrawny boy. This change in appearance over the summer holidays has made Harry someone to swoon over, instead of just something to be in awe of. However, on the inside, Harry's still the same ickle kid. How will he get through a year of squealing adolescent girls throwing themselves at him? And that's not the worst of it…

Harry Potter and the Bottle of Ink

Ink. Such a wonderful commodity. It allows you to write, to draw, to express yourself. But what on earth will happen when the ink starts to express itself in ways previously unheard of? Not only Harry, but several others at Hogwarts seem to have taken delivery of some sentient ink. And the Ink isn't happy. Not happy at all.

Harry Potter and the Cave of Wonders

Surpassing the magnitude of the Chamber of Secrets, more opulent than Beauxbatons, shinier than the trophies after detention, this Cave of Wonders is something of a phenomenon to behold. It's big. And it's filled with lots of interesting…uh, stuff. There's just no other way to describe it. Harry and his friends, Ron and Hermione, discover it one night during their nocturnal wanderings. At first, everything seems to be fine. But why on earth would there be a cavern underneath the school filled with gold, treasure and other precious objects? It is only after they shut the door behind them that they find out…

Harry Potter and the Contact Lenses

Harry had always thought that his glasses were a bit of a nuisance. They were always getting broken, or cracked, or otherwise destroyed. It annoyed him to no end that while he could see perfectly fine through them, if it rained while they were playing Quidditch, he couldn't see without a spell cast on his glasses. So, the time came when he decided to get contact lenses. It was a normal Muggle store, and Harry could see nothing suspicious about them, but soon after he started wearing them, he began to have strange visions…ones of grandeur…ones where he was the ultimate ruler of the world…ones where Ron was his right hand man, and Hermione was his slave…Will Harry overcome this mystery, or will he go mad?

Harry Potter and the T-Birds

While rehearsing for the Gryffindor's version of _Grease, the musical, Harry finds himself sucked into a wormhole of sorts. He is then spat out in Rydell High of the 1960s. That's right, he's __on the set of Grease, but wait, it's not a set – it's real! So Harry, who somehow is incorporated into the school as an English transfer, has to live out his days in the US 1960s. Will he ever return to Hogwarts, and what's happening while he's not there?_

Harry Potter and the Incredible Shrinking Machine

School is over for the year, and Harry has gone to stay at the Weasleys'. Arthur has brought home a piece of equipment he has to check out, as part of his job at the Ministry of Magic. One day, the Weasley household wake up to find Arthur missing with not even a note to say where he's gone. Molly searches throughout the wizarding world for her husband, but sometimes the things that you can't find are right under your nose…

Harry Potter and the Treaty of Versailles

In another one of these annoying timewarp things, Harry is taken back to 1918, where he is the son of a British General involved in the writing of the Treaty of Versailles. At first, everything seems all right – apart from the fact that Harry is not in the correct time period. While moping around the buildings where his father works, Harry overhears a conversation – a conversation which was obviously not meant to be heard. Harry knows he must save the day again, but will he be able to do it in time?

Harry Potter and the Foibles of Hermione

Harry always thought Hermione was the best of the three of them. She was smart, graceful, funny, and a good person to be around – well, for most of the time, anyway. Just recently, though, Harry found some flaws in Hermione's character…one of them being whipped cream and chocolate sauce. And now the whole world knows. Harry can only hope that no-one will exploit Hermione's weaknesses for their own use…or he'll have to get down and dirty with 'em…

Harry Potter and the Heavy Water

Life in Harry's seventh year at Hogwarts had been pretty easy sailing until now. However, some issues have come up in his classes – especially in Potions. Snape seems intent on using chemicals that are quite dangerous. Not only have other witches and wizards of Muggle parentage realised this, but some of the purebloods as well. But Snape, living in the old days, doesn't seem to know exactly how dangerous deuterium, among other things, really is. Will the student body be able to unite and warn the teachers of their impending danger, or will the school go up in a pouf of smoke?

Harry Potter and the Health Food Freak

Yet another American transfer student has come to Hogwarts, this one bringing gifts of assorted nuts and seeds, celery sticks sans peanut butter, and 99% fat-free foods. She's also pencil-thin, and has white-blonde hair and blue eyes. More than half of Hogwarts thinks they are in love with her. Harry, however, realises that she's up to no good. No one but a pure evil creature would try and dissuade the House Elves from cooking up hot breakfasts, and instead, getting them to cook some bland tasting tofu junk which not many people like. But Harry cannot defeat her without some help – and the rest of Hogwarts is under her evil spell…

A/N: Yes, yes, I know, not *very* good, but I'm trying, I'm trying…*sigh* leave a flame, at least?


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